PROSE: Unseen


The surface glistens as the vibrant rays caress the shimmering water. She looks out and feels the warmth of the sun and the coolness of the heat’s cure that her feet swishes lightly in.

She can hear the trickling of the water manoeuvring amongst the smooth rocks, and the rustling of the leaves, as chirping creatures glide with wings catching the tangy air waves.

She smiles a sad smile, a longing smile, as she repeats her wish quietly to herself. She thinks back to her fifth birthday, when she blew out all the candles. The cheers from her loved ones was confirmation that she was successful at this.

In that moment she had made a wish, and this was the very wish that she now repeats to herself; just like she has on every birthday since that first instance. She closes her eyes and breathes deeply in, listening, always listening, to the world around her.

She opens her eyes and lets out a slow breath of private sorrow as the world remains the same. She will never see the water glisten, or the lush green of the leaves, nor the softness of the birds’ feathers as they play freely in the sky.

She will never see the sparkle of the sun, or the beauty that she has now become. She will always have her enhanced hearing and imagination, though, and through a life of blindness, this will have to do.

This will have to do.


By Jody Dontje

~ My first published attempt at a prose form. Thoughts?

17 thoughts on “PROSE: Unseen

  1. yikici says:

    This is beautiful. Elegantly written. x

  2. Leslie says:

    I thought you provided an interesting juxtaposition: the descriptive imagery of nature within the first two paragraphs, as opposed to the reality of blindness described in the last two paragraphs. The reader can see what she cannot see, through your prose.

  3. Dayle says:

    I love it! Very well done. It reads like you have done this many times, not your first. The descriptions are very real.

  4. Shayri says:

    Hey Jody !
    That was a beautifully written prose ! truly wonderful! And had you not mentioned it , its very hard to make out that this is indeed your first prose!
    Keep Going!!

    • Jody Dontje says:

      Hi Shayri,

      Your comment is truly appreciated! It is great to see such a positive reaction, I am so excited and motivated to keep writing and experimenting with the magic of words.

      Sincerely Jody

  5. lovely, thoughtful & mood setting…..

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